If the thought of writing your wedding vows fills you with excitement, you’re in the minority.
For most couples, it starts with good intentions. “We’ll do them next week,” you tell yourselves. Then life gets busy. Before you know it, the wedding is only a few weeks away and you’ve still got a blank page staring back at you.
The good news? You’re not alone, and writing meaningful vows is often much easier than people imagine.
The biggest mistake couples make is thinking their vows need to sound poetic, profound, or worthy of a Hollywood romance. They don’t. The most memorable vows are usually the simplest because they sound genuine.
Start by thinking about why you’re marrying this person. What do they bring to your life? What do you admire about them? What moments have shaped your relationship? Jot down a few notes rather than trying to write full sentences straight away.
A simple structure can help:
- What you love about them
- What your life is like together
- What promises you want to make for the future
That’s it.
For example, you might share a favourite quality, mention a memory that always makes you smile, and then make a few heartfelt promises. Those promises don’t have to be serious all the time either. Alongside promises of love and support, many couples include something personal and light-hearted. Promising to make the tea in the morning or not to watch the next episode without them can often raise a smile from guests and make your vows feel authentically yours.
If you’re both writing your own vows, it can be helpful to agree on a rough length beforehand. Nobody wants to deliver a three-minute declaration of love only to discover their partner has prepared two sentences on the back of a napkin.
And if public speaking makes you nervous, remember this: you don’t need to memorise anything. Print your vows, write them in a vow book, and take your time reading them. Your partner isn’t judging your performance. They’re listening to your words.
As celebrants, one of the things we often help couples with is finding the right balance between heartfelt, personal and comfortable. We can suggest ideas, review drafts, and reassure you that your vows sound exactly as they should.
Because the best wedding vows aren’t the most eloquent.
They’re the ones that sound like you.
So if you’re staring at that blank page wondering where to begin, start with a simple question:
“What do I want my partner to know on the day we promise our future to each other?”
The rest will follow.
